My mom called me yesterday with one purpose. To inform me that my cousin had shot himself.

He was a favorite person in my life as a child. I looked up to him (way up, since he was SUPER tall) and I learned the beginnings of a sense of humor from him. He used to take one finger and “nok” us with it. He was always teasing us and playing pranks. He was a great guy and a fantastic cousin. He had two children…

Dead??? Shock. Unbelief. Hurt. Confusion. Compassion. Pain. Overwhelmed.

I didn’t cry yesterday. It was too new. But I am crying today… I am hurting today. It’s so much more real today.

In times like these, I believe it’s wise to look at King David.

The Bible talks of how King David was feeling depressed but he resisted it. He didn’t sink into it or get into the pit of despair. He described how he felt, but he made a decision not to live by his feelings. He praised and trusted in God.

I know that it’s normal to go through emotionally difficult times when tragic loss occurs. But I am trusting that if I am walking in faith, I will come out of it, and better than when I went in.

As much as it hurts right now, I know that there is a new beginning in front of our family.

I am determined to trust and praise God like David did. What Satan intends for harm, God can turn around for good!