I have been going through a particularly difficult time lately. It seems the last year has been situation after situation in which I find myself without joy or peace in my life. Every time I have made a mistake, I have been quick to condemn myself, angry that I couldn’t be the “perfect Christian” or the “perfect mom.”
Then today, in my devotions, I came across Romans 15:13: May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing…
And it really has me thinking…
I have been plunged into doubt and unbelief, allowing the devil to torment me with negativity, impatience and a sense of confusion. In the process, I had forgotten that believing in God and trusting His Word brings peace and hope and overcomes my weakness. I came across a journal from before my marriage recently and I was inspired by the woman that I was at that point in time. I trusted God, I had a hope and I knew my future was secure in his hands.
Fast-forward a few years: I have been belittled and torn down and told how poorly I do everything I set my hand to for the past 5+ years. It has taken its toll and caused me to start doubting that hope and that future that I rested in so peacefully before.
But, as with anything in life, God’s Word brings answers. Jesus loved me so much that He not only forgave all my sins from the past but also looked ahead and forgave me for those moments of weakness when I’d fail in the future. I don’t have to allow Satan to sneak in with questions or unbelief anymore. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. Because of His blood, God never sees my sin when he looks at me. He sees only a precious child that he loves.
Peace, hope, joy. They are right in front of me!!! I just need to allow His Word to stir up my faith. By believing what he said to me, I can have peace and joy TODAY, in this present moment, no matter how difficult it is.
PS. Joy is my middle name, so I should know how to live in it, dont’cha think?