“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” – Maya Angelou
We all have stories we tell. We might tell stories to others. But there are also stories we tell to ourselves. Stories in our mind. Stories that have no basis in reality.
These stories… they can be so many things. They can be the story of “wish I may”, or pages worth of “I don’t think I can”.
I have always loved to read. When I was a little girl, my parents would ground me from reading because I would become so engrossed in my imagination that reality would fade away in the distance. I would read far into the reaches of the night. Grand stories. Incredible stories. Stories of princesses and pirates; dragons and knights; love and conquering. Although my childhood was far from fantastic, the memories that come from years of getting lost in books make me relish that part of my life.
One thing that I am starting to find now, however, is that those books that fed my curiosity as I grew are far more real than many of the stories I tell myself. Although it’s easy to believe the stories in my head, they are wrought with as much, if not more fiction than the fairy tales of my youth.
See, the stories I tell myself lack all the luster and magic, and the sweetness of simplicity. My mind wanders and over complicates the life I lead. The stories in my head attempt to prevent me from ever going for those things I say I desire. They tell me words that damage my soul and make me doubt myself, whether in love, business or life.
I know I am not alone. Haven’t we all, at some time in our lives succumbed to that inner dialogue – in which our past experiences bias our current understanding?
But, how would life change if we could simply let go? What if we began creating space for healing and kindness and peace to grow? Maybe we could move forward, far past those stories that the voices in our head tell when we are laying in the dark, quiet confines of an empty bedroom.
I look at the passing of Wayne Dyer, who is one of my heroes. He wrote “Your past history,and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. Don’t allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments. Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much larger. Some are villains and others are good guys. But all of them are necessary, otherwise they wouldn’t be in the play.Embrace them all, and move on to the next act.”
Just like I loved and laughed and dreamed and hurt with the characters of my books growing up… maybe I could embrace those in my life at this moment. Maybe I could learn to appreciate that even though it might end in hurt and sorrow and tragedy, it might not. It might be sunshine and rainbows and “Happily Ever After”. I have loved every ending in a book. Why not learn to love the chapters in my own?
I admire my friend who tells me all the time that “everything has an ending”. We may not know when or how, but you should appreciate the moments you have, so that there is no regrets in the moments to come. How much could that change the decisions we make on a daily basis? How much more could we learn to slow down and appreciate each moment?
We get to decide. We get to choose what stories play out in our own minds. But those stories, the choice between them, will determine your quality of life and your destiny.
I am choosing destination happiness. I am choosing the story of a peaceful, kind life, lived to the fullest. I am embracing the choices that bring life to my soul.
It’s up to me- only me- how the pages of my story unfold. And the stories I tell myself will live on in the generations to come.