I don’t want a good love. I don’t want a safe love. I don’t want a passionate love. I don’t want a stable love.

I want a great love! 

Oh yes, I believe in love.

I believe that there can be an undying passion that drives people to crazy lengths…

A love that makes me afraid because it will set my whole world on fire. A love that rocks the core of who I am, changes me, grows me and creates a better person. A love that pierces the walls I have built around my heart and brings them all tumbling to the ground. A love that is comfortable, comforting, safe, but oh so incredibly frightening in it’s beauty and vulnerability.

I want a love that sets off cultural revolutions in my mind, that overturns the outdated thoughts that run through my head, a love that challenges me on a daily basis, and never stops questioning the status quo.

I want a love that changes the world because it’s all about fighting for passion.

I want a love that builds an unbreakable team because there is so much loyalty and forgiveness and trust. I want an all-seeing love. The good, the pretty, the mistakes, the flaws, the terrible decisions. I want a love who believes in me with their whole heart. I want a love that ignites my mind, speaks to my soul and dreams of bigger things than I ever envisioned.

I want power, passion, depth, emotion.

I want to shatter all illusions and live freely.

I want fireworks that light up the darkness of my life, but when the fireworks fade, the fall furnace is still burning with hot coals.

I want someone to leave me completely shaken up and transformed.

I want it to look to the outside world like volcanoes erupting, shaking the very ground of illusions and false beliefs I have built my entire life on.

Great rewards come at great risk … and a great love promises the entire world… if I am willing to give up the one I have grown up in.

I am learning that I have that great love already. I am learning to love myself. To discover my passion. Setting my own world on fire as I fight for the things I want in my life. My core is being broken open and rebuilt as I become the woman I have always wanted to be. I am learning that this shy, quiet little girl has actually become a fiery, passionate woman with a purpose. I am learning that the abused, battered, emotionally hallow ghost is truly a vibrant, lively woman who can conquer anything that’s important to her.

I am learning that even when my life’s fireworks fade and everything isn’t glorious, I still hold the embers to ignite the fire once more.

I am moving mountains. I am changing my life. I am changing the lives of those around me. And I love it. I love me! Watch out world, for great loves come rarely! But when they do, they rock the foundations of the earth. 

Working towards loving me.