V, v, v, what?

Valve, ventricle, mitral valve, leaky valve, regurgitation, lining of the lungs, enlarged, stiff, blood thinners, echocardiogram, ekg, stress test, drainage, beta blockers, fluid retention, edema, surgery, endoscopic, congestive heart failure, bla, bla, bla.

The doctors are starting to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher. It’s all running together.

I just want answers and I want to feel better.

I need to make sure my kids have their mama and I need to make sure I am healthy enough to give them a good life. But if not, I need to make sure they are taken care of.

Will, pour-over will, trust, life insurance, college, beneficiaries, more bla, bla, bla.

This isn’t my normal, positive post. I am tired. So very tired. I’m in bed by 8:30 and still have a hard time getting up in the morning. I am so frustrated. I am overwhelmed.

And I think that’s okay.

It’s okay to feel what I feel.

It’s okay to share how I feel.

I am not doing this alone, and that’s new for me. I have people in my world who are willing to help, people who are there to listen. It’s nice, and it’s scary.

Being vulnerable is hard.

I hope it’s worth it.



About Shannon Joy

I am a single mama with two incredible munchkins. I confuse most people and the deeper you delve into the rabbit hole, the more lost you will become. I play a lot, work a lot, learn a lot, volunteer a lot and tend to do a lot... I love my life. The past few years have been an incredible journey, full of ups and downs. Thankfully, I have made the choice to see challenges as opportunities and it makes me so much stronger than I ever thought possible. I love to write and paint and feel that being creative is my God-given talent. I am so excited to share my life and experiences with you. Although I am a diamond in the rough, I known that I am being chiseled and hewn by experiences and grace and perseverance. I love comments and feedback, so please send a little love when you can. I will always try to respond personally and in a timely fashion.
This entry was posted in Family, Growth, Health, My daily life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to V, v, v, what?

  1. Tikeetha T says:

    You’re not alone. I’m praying for a healing. God hears all and answers all.

  2. camparigirl says:

    Being vulnerable is very hard. Sometimes it hurts. But yes, it is worthy.

  3. Dan says:

    Love you, Shannon! No, you are not alone; my prayers, thoughts and best are with you.

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