We are all grown now, the eight babies you birthed. I am not sure how that feels. But I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know how much I appreciate you. I know we don’t get much time together, living so far away. But I think about you often and fondly and my kids love their Yaya. I am so excited to see you this weekend!
I am glad I was born your daughter. Having you as a mother has molded me into the woman I am today. It was the greatest gift and biggest advantage I could have asked or prayed for.
I know that when you look back over your life, you have your regrets. I know that coulds and shoulds like to play on repeat in your mind for the life we lived. I know things haven’t always been easy for you. I know there were times you doubted yourself, doubted your abilities, doubted you were doing the right thing. There were times you made mistakes, did things that you didn’t want to do, or didn’t do things that you wish you would have. But each and every choice you made played into the person I have become, and I want to thank you for that.
I love you, mama. I know I don’t always show it and I’m not the greatest at communicating, but you are the most important woman in my life, and you always will be. You sacrificed so much of yourself to raise us. You put your heart and soul into doing what you thought was best. You brought peace in the midst of hell. You were an encourager when there was so little to encourage. No matter how bad things got, I knew you were always praying for me. No matter how much I felt unworthy, unhappy or unloved, I always had your voice in the back of my head telling me YOU loved me.
You brought us up to believe that we could be whoever we wanted to be, do whatever we wanted to do. You told us over and over again that there were no limitations except our drive, ambition and creativity. You encouraged us to be ourselves and allowed us free range when the world was pushing conformity.
So thank you mom. For everything. Those two words could never express the depth of how much I appreciate the life you have given me. The hugs, the comfort, the opportunity to escape, the laughter, the smiles, the hours of phone conversations. Thank you for listening to me, for being there when I felt like I had no one. Thank you for loving me for exactly who I am, flaws and all. Thank you for showing me through your example that it is okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to rebuild life from nothing, and it’s okay to be who I am. Thank you for your unwavering support through out my journey.
Thank you for always having hope for me even when I didn’t have any for myself.
Thank you for not giving up on me and continuing to love me when loving me must have felt like trying to hug a cactus. Thank you for loving me, even when I didn’t want you to.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. For a million things, for everything. I don’t know what I would do without you. There are so many more things, small things, big things.
I wish you could see yourself through my eyes mama. I wish you knew how beautiful and incredible you are. I know that if I can be half as good a mother to my children as you are to me, I will have done exceptionally well.
I love you, more than words can ever express.
“…when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.” -Mitch Albom
Dang it Shannon, no more reading your blogs at work. It’s not appropriate for a grown man to be sitting at his desk with tears streaming down his face and it’s a damn hard thing to hide. Guh!!
P.S. I am sharing this with my mother…. Our mom’s should meet. I think they would like each other very much. 😉