You know what’s sexy? Someone who knows what they want. You know what’s incredible? Knowing I am what they want.

If you want me to find you attractive, effort is everything. Don’t tell me you care, show me you care. That’s what sexy is all about. In my experience, the moment a relationship becomes lukewarm, it may as well be over. Yes, I said that. I don’t want lukewarm.

I want brutal honesty about how you feel about me. Don’t hide your feelings and pretend like they don’t exist. If you are confused, say so. If you want to slow down, say so. If you are falling hard and fast, say so. There is something incredibly beautiful in being able to speak honestly and without reserve. And I will promise to return the favor and not to judge you for it.

Wanna know what makes me fall for you? The random texts in the middle of a busy day that show you were thinking about me. The good morning and goodnight conversations. Having your full attention when our busy schedules align enough to see each other.

Wanna know what makes me trust you? Being there. Doing what you say you are going to do and not being flaky. Keeping your word. Being there when I’m on top of the world and taking time to celebrate with me. Being there when my health is failing and I can barely get out of bed. Being there through the great and through the ugly. You don’t have to know what to say or do. Just be there. Make an effort.

Wanna know what excites me? You making plans for us. A night in with a good movie. An adventurous hike. Making a meal and inviting me to join you. Looking at a future event and getting tickets because you know I will love it. It all comes down to effort in the end.

Wanna know what makes me see long-term? Kindness. Being kind to me will get you a long way. Being kind to others when you have nothing to gain, that will get you much further. Making an effort in little things that aren’t about you, oh yes, that is the type of person I want to spend my life with.

Wanna know how to keep the honeymoon going? Make me laugh. Make me laugh so hard I cry. Never stop playing. Never stop looking at life as a grand adventure. Have fun every single day and drag everyone around you into it.

Wanna know how to connect on a deeper level? Forgiveness and apologies go a long way. No one will ever be perfect, so whether it’s me or you that screwed up, being able to admit it and work together to fix it is the only way to stay connected.

Wanna know how to enjoy each other the most? Be present. Don’t look too frequently at the past or future, but honor and cherish each moment spent together. Value the time we have on earth and make your people a priority because nothing lasts forever.

Wanna know what makes me feel secure? You being certain of how you feel about me. You telling me how you feel about me. You being unashamed to be seen with me, to let people know we are together. In my history, silence always meant certain danger, so please don’t be silent.

Dating is so challenging already and bringing ambivalence into the picture only makes it more so. If you act like you don’t care, I will believe you. If you choose to play hot and cold or neglect to make time for me, I pay attention and I will return the favor. I don’t want to play investigator trying to decipher mixed signals. I want to know you are all in.

I want more than words. I want action. I want to know that you will do what you say and that I can trust you. That’s someone I can be with. That’s the type of person who will captivate my heart and earn my forever. There is nothing sexier than effort.

And for the person willing to put in the effort, I will not hold back. I will reciprocate your efforts. And you will always know that you are appreciated, admired and loved.