It’s challenging. Being right in the middle of life and faced with an incredible number of decisions.
Or basically any goal or desire that you ruminate upon.
You’re in the middle of this maze and none of it seems to make sense. It feels like you are traveling on a dozen different journeys and you’re unsure about all of them. This feeling… the dead-end, pit of uncertainty, it’s a hell you didn’t realize could be a thing.
“What should I do?”
“What career should I choose?”
“Should I start a company?”
“Should I date this person?”
“Should I travel or build more security?”
“I don’t know what I want.”
They look like an endless sea, stretched out in every direction.
You feel overwhelmed, directionless, restless and anxious. It seems everyone wants answers, yourself more than anyone. There are so many things to do, so many possibilities.
But here you stay, motionless, treading water and gaining very little ground. Why is this so hard?
It seems like these should be simple choices, but you find yourself ruminating on every decision, trying to think of every possible outcome… You spend weeks, or months, or maybe even years thinking about the right choice. And then you still don’t make a decision. After all, you wouldn’t want to make the wrong one.
You know that failure is okay, but you still can’t seem to take the leap. You determine that it must be because you don’t actually know what you want.
But the truth is, it’s because you want so much. You want a lot of things and you are capable of having them all.
The truth is, you don’t like choosing.
Anything you choose will take away from one of the other paths you could have taken. And you could actually like that other path much better, right? You want the BEST.
I get it. Believe me. We only have one life, and time is short. It’s important to optimize what we have… But if there is anything I’ve learned in my brief stint here on earth, it the fact that you are still going to be restless and anxious and searching in 5, 10, or 15 years if you continue to hold on to that logic. You can’t just wait on life forever.
You have to do. If you don’t start, you won’t ever figure it out.
Your life isn’t a fancy formula that you need 10 years to write. Especially since, no matter what the calculations, you’re never guaranteed that the next finite amount of time will be ANY better.
Life is an experience. Lived by EXPERIENCING. It’s certainly not optimised by thinking 24/7 while on autopilot for the next ____ years. You figure out what you want by doing, by trying different things, by problem solving, by eliminating and adding as it serves… it’s not about a formula.
And the best part? When you look back at life, you get to see that path, with all those decisions, and you realize the adventure was possible because of your choices. Each decision led to a lesson, fulfilling you, building you, bettering you. Yeah, there will be mistakes, sadness, uncomfortable times. But you’ll be growing and going to the places you’ve only thought about up to now.
It’s hard to start. Changing routines, chasing more, breaking free from your own (and other’s) expectations. But dont wait until you are in a hospital bed like I was. Don’t wait until you think it’s the end and all you have are regrets.
All that uncertainty can be traced back to the thought “I don’t know…”
But if you focus on what you don’t know, you can’t make any progress.
So here’s my suggestion: Start with what you know. What is certain in your mind? Focus on that.
I am absolutely not telling you to avoid learning or doing new things, just to be clear. I am also not telling you to live risk-free (obviously by my own lifestyle).
What I am saying is that you know you better than you think. You know your goals and aspirations. You know what you’re interested in (or not).
What I know about me:
I want to travel to as many different countries as possible.
I want to work remotely for myself.
I want to always feed my creativity.
I want to raise my children to be responsible world citizens.
I want a partner who adds to the life I’ve built.
You will obviously have your own ideas and dreams. Maybe you know you don’t see a future with your partner. Maybe you know that you value stability over everything. Maybe you don’t want children, or maybe you do.
Figure out what you actually know about yourself. It could be anything. And it will most likely be very broad.
Seems simple, right?
It is. AND it gets rid of those self-imposed barriers to your decisions. Questions like, “I don’t know which country to go to” or “I don’t know what I want to do for a career” become a certain thing because you’ve opened yourself up. No, you didn’t answer the question per se… But you’ve changed the context and freed yourself to make a decision that is more true to you.
I know that I want to travel as many places as possible.
It makes everything else negotiable. I could go to Vegas, Bali, or Mexico and I am following the direction that I outlined for my life.
Life is about trying, not analyzing. Being in action feels better, I promise. The key is to ensure that your actions are aligned with the things that you know for certain.
It works for everything.
Starting a company is scary, but I know I want to work remotely and I want to work for myself. Regardless, if I fail at this particular endeavor, it will teach me something about my strengths and weaknesses and put me on the right path. I will begin to realize if this is the right fit. But if I don’t start? I’ll never know.
You get to write your story.
So figure out what you know for certain, focus on that, and you WILL figure out what you want. I promise you, it’s going to be an amazing story, full of great adventures and twists and turns…
In fact, you can make your life into a story that might be read by some as a fantasy.